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Celebrant, Vlady Peters, Redcliffe, Qld.
Friday, April 26, 2024
Sunday, February 25, 2024
His, Hers and Theirs
It used to be, 'They
married and lived happily ever after'. Now, what with his, hers, and their
children, the wedding day itself is a challenge. His children don't like her.
Her children don't like his children. And their children don't know why the
other children don't go home where they belong instead of hanging around.
Convincing everyone involved that marriage is going to be the happiest time of all their lives is hard enough. Having the wedding ceremony without some explosive incident is a miracle. But no sooner does the couple sigh with relief, that the wedding went off better than expected, then comes the problem of the honeymoon.
Should the honeymoon be postponed for some weeks, or months, or even years until the various members of the family have accepted each other as a family? Or should the couple actually take the children with them for a family holiday? Even if money is no object, will anyone, including the children enjoy this togetherness?
Even if the couple decide not to take their children with them - which most won't - if the children are at all interested, give them the opportunity to plan the honeymoon with you. That is tell them why you've chosen the particular place. What is so special about it? Do a little bit of research on it so that if it has as any history worth recounting, you'll be able to share it with them. Know enough about the children's interest to give them the details they crave rather than the details that interest you.
Although there is a desire, especially of the couple inundated with problems other than the theme for their wedding, to leave for their honeymoon just as fast as they can, resist this urge. While the urge, especially with an embattled couple is natural, give yourself a day or two to recoup, relax with all your children into a more comfortable mode, and then leave. It won't seem to your children the flight that it is if you don't make such an urgent mission of it.
Incidentally, while on your honeymoon, don't avoid the subject of the children you've left behind. Without being anxious or morbid, of course.
If money is no object, one of the best ways of starting your life together as a new family, is to buy a new house before you leave for the honeymoon. Apart from the anticipation of moving house when you come back from the honeymoon, all your children can take an equal interest in it because it belongs to all of them rather than only some of them.
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Sunday, January 7, 2024
Honeymoon and Toes
Compliments of
Feet Fetish Bumper Stickers - CafePress
Remember the
frenzy of the paparazzi when they caught Sarah
Ferguson, the Duchess of York, having her toe sucked at a beach? What was
the big deal? Was it that she was so well-known? Or was it that this piece of
fore play was being conducted in a more or less public place? Or was it the toe
itself that did it?
When it comes to love-making, we thought we’d seen it all.
We know people do
it in showers and baths, on board tables or under them, horizontally or
slightly perpendicular, and vertically flat against a brick wall or against
something anchored to the ground. But in all this, the toe just didn’t
figure.
Sure, we do seem to remember that guy who toasted a beauty of his time by drinking out of her slipper. But we didn’t really believe that it happened. Or if it did, we could only assume that the gallant had already had a few drinks before he came up with the idea.
But as queasy as we get thinking about using a slipper as a glass, the imagination boggles at the thought of a toe as a snack. After all, when we look at our shoes in the dark recesses of our wardrobe we know where those toes have been, and are not entirely reassured that they’re worth any attention at all, let alone the intimacy of a suck or two.
Yes, we have heard that toes, like other body appendages, are sensitive and can be as arousing as the more recognized erogenous zones. But we also know our feet. So long as we remember that the soles are like sandpaper, the nails as hard as a rhinoceros horn, and about as sweet smelling as a three or four day old fish, love-making and toes will never be an equation in our books.
We’ll nibble the ears, kiss the fingers, make a few detours down the length of the body, stopping well beyond the danger zone of the toes.
It has been said that the man who first ate an oyster must have been the bravest man on earth. The same must be said of the man or woman who first decided to try out the toes.
So if you consider yourself a hot lover, and have never tried out your partner’s toes, you’ve still a long way to go.
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