Sunday, November 11, 2018

Is this too much?


While meandering in a second-hand store - which I do on a regular basis - picked up a book on the subject of aphrodisiacs. Hard-cover book, beautifully presented with a lot of meaningful illustrations - like Adam and Eve with fig-leaves - it looked brand new. As I'm researching the subject for a book on food for lovers, I handed over a $1 and left.

The book is  more general than detailed, as if the author was frightened to admit that it is possible that natural foods could  be more  helpful than tablets or potions - or whatever it is that pharmaceutical companies have created.

However, while I didn't find the way the subject was treated particularly interesting, it was another thing when it came to the inscription inside.

It appears that the book was a birthday present to her 'dearest' 'forty-year-old' 'son-in-law', hoping that it would give him a lot of 'pleasure' and 'good appetite'.

I don't know what your reaction would be, but I'm wondering how does a mother-in-law get involved in her son's-in-law bedroom activities. Is it possible that the daughter came to her mum and with tears streaming down her face, sobbing uncontrollably all the while, eventually stammered out pleadingly, 'Oh, mum, Earl (made up name so don't start searching your memory) 'is so hopeless in bed. Please help me. We just can't go on like this,' sob, sob, sob. And good old mum, always ready to lend a hand, eventually comes up with a brilliant idea. Of course. A book with a few  hints on how to become more 'manly' as Hippocrates would say, will be just the thing.

One can only imagine the look on the guy's face as he unwraps the gift and finds what's inside the wrapper; and the reaction of the fifty or so guests gathered expectantly around him.

I can see from the pristine condition of the book that it has not been read voraciously - or even at all. And as it ended in a charity shop it was obviously not the forty-year-old's treasured possession.

And whether the gift was genuinely trying to solve a problem, or just an embarrassing joke, I hope that if the marriage did have problems, the book wasn't the last straw.

But just as I'm wondering what was the mother-in-law thinking at giving such a gift to her son-in-law, I find she's not the only tasteless gift-giver.

Recently I've read that at one wedding the bride and groom were given

                (a) A book on aphrodisiacs (absolutely true)
                (b) a packet of nappies for the bride who was expecting (What a thrill!!!)

Anyway, for any wedding guests out there looking for that perfect wedding gift, CHOOSE WISELY and thoughtfully before you spend your cash. Better still. forget the gift. Cash will probably be more welcome.


PS: Before you go, have I mentioned that I'm researching a book on aphrodisiacs? If you have any favourite foods that you think might be helpful, let's hear from you.

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